Fab Alert?

Yes, that's a question mark --- because I still haven't decided on the fab level of this topic. 

Planking. 

It's so damn stupid. And pointless. And ridiculous. And ignorant. Yet, for some reason, I kind of love it. There's just absolutely no reason for it. Why can't I hate it? It's so asinine. Planking is sheer foolishness. 

All about planking, courtesy of Wikipedia: 

  • Planking is also known as the lying down game or face downs. 
  • The game involves lying face down in an unusual or incongruous location. 
  • Hands must touch the sides of the body. 
  • Taking a photograph of the participant and posting it on the Internets is an integral part of the game.
  • Players compete to find the most unusual and original location in which to play.
  • The location should also be as public as possible, and as many people as possible should be involved
  • [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rObgXiQEV8g]
  • [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80r3xLeAxlc]
Posted on July 13, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Fab Alert.

Little Girl in an Enormous Chair Pic of the Day

Behold! My dear friend Addison at the Children's Museum of Virginia.  I was at a gay bar when her mother, Sheli, sent this pic. We all gasped in awe. 

"Ohmygawwwd!" gasped my friend, Jason, clutching his imaginary pearls. "Is this real? She looks like a tiny little doll! I loooove it!"

"It's kinda creepy," declared Bradd. "I love it, too." he added quite staunchly. 

Judgment sealed. Verdict: fabulous. 

We knew what I had to do: post the darn thing... and post it quickly. 

Five stars, Addison. 

(Thanks, Sheli!)

Posted on July 13, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Fabulousness.

What Do These Three Have in Common?

What do they have in common? They're all boring, dahling. Sorry, but it's true. 

They all also have birthdays today. Who do you choose? Not a one! THIS, my friends, is why there was no birthday feature today. However, now that it's come to this, I suppose I should just man up and express my best wishes.

Happy birthday, Cameron Crowe, Louise Mandrell and Corey Clark. 

Yawn. 

I think yesterday's bitch lessons worked. Perhaps a bit too well. Whatevs. Better to be too bitchy than not bitchy enough, I always say. Speaking of bitchy enough, let's post Smiletone again for good measure. 

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TP3bFpBxxEs]

Posted on July 13, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Birthdays.

Five Stars!

This. Is. So. Cool.  Thirty years ago, father-son duo Chris and Kenneth Bray attended the first-ever space shuttle launch: Columbia's STS-1 mission. Last week, they recreated the photo of themselves for NASA's final shuttle launch of Atlantis on July 8. 

Outstanding job, Brays. Thanks for putting a smile on our faces today. 

If you're into the Young Me/Now Me meme, click here for more cool then/now pics.

 

 

Posted on July 13, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Fabulousness.

Um... WTF?!?

Sometimes, when you read obituaries all the way to the end, you find out some extra-stupid stuff. 

Click here. 

R.I.P., Dickie... and Dickie's toe. 

Posted on July 13, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under WTF?!?.

Dead Sexy!

This takes drop-dead gorgeous to a whole new level...

Cult british beauty brand Illamasqua (whose co-managing director is Agent Provocateur founder Joe Corre, the son of fashion designer Dame Vivienne Westwood and Sex Pistols manager Malcolm McLaren) has teamed up with London funeral directors Leverton & Sons to offer professional makeovers to those who wish to make a statement after they're gone. 

I'll just let the press release do the talking.

Illamasqua and family funeral directors of 220 years, Leverton & Sons, have collabortated to launch an innovative service bringing ritual beauty to the final act for those who love to self-express.

Offering professional funeral make-up transformations applied by a specially trained Illamasqua make-up artist, the Final Act of Self-Expression encourages people for whom making-up is an intimate part of their identity to plan their final transformation - one that pays tribute to who they were in life and how they want to enter the afterlife.

Here's the catch: you've gotta be across the pond to look this dead sexy. The service is available  in the London area only starting this month. 

Posted on July 12, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Beauty, Fabulousness, R-I-P-.

Get Yer Bitch On!

Michael Musto, Village Voice columnist extraordinaire and esteemed member of the Fabü Hall of Fame, has released The 10 Best Bitchy Comments of All Time. In my oh-so-humble opinion, anything La Musto writes is gospel, so you'll definitely want to check out his homage to acidic quips.  Still feeling bitchy? Click here to check out Ian Tindell's The 10 Greatest Bitch Slaps in Movie History. 

Not feeling bitchy enough? Learn a thing or two from Smiletone's instructional video, How to Be Bitchy Enough, below. 

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TP3bFpBxxEs]

Posted on July 12, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Fabulousness.

R.I.P.

Sherwood Schwartz, 94, creator of two of my fave childhood shows, Gilligan's Island and The Brady Bunch (he even wrote both theme songs... so awesome!), died today in Los Angeles of natural causes. 

Thanks for the entertainment, Sherwood!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaCCG7QkM_c&feature=related]

Posted on July 11, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under R-I-P-.

Happy Miltonteaglesimmonsday

Milton Teagle Simmons is 63 today. You might know him better as that madcap, gayer-than-gay fitness guru, Richard Simmons. Happy birthday, Richard, you loco betch! You've made a huge difference in many health-challenged lives. We might have to make you a living saint soon, right alongside our beloved St. Rip. Cheers, dahling! 

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=na9ZZ4ZjVa8]

Posted on July 12, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Birthdays.

Indy Trip Notes: The Wrap-Up

Shoe shopping was successful. Miss Ella got her first pair of Chuck Taylors. So proud!

After a tasty lunch, we stopped by the pet supply store to grab some goods for Romper the rabbit. The girls disappeared around a corner. Here's where I found them.

We left without any new creatures. Close call. 

Preparing to head home. Adios and much love, fam. Thanks for a goofy-great time, as always!   

Posted on July 11, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Shopping, Travel.

Indy Trip Notes: Pet of the Day

Today's featured family-visit pet is Willis the hamster. Congratulations, Willis. 

Honorable mention awards to...

1. Chewy, the Green-cheeked Conure (that's not bird mange; he plucks his own feathers)

2. Sandy the cat

3. Jack the black dog and Bandit the white dog

4. Zuko the cat

Not pictured: Kiara the camera-shy cat. 

I believe the pet tally is nine now, folks. We're about to go shoe shopping. Who knows what we'll come back with. Perhaps a guinea pig? Iguana? We'll seeeee. 

Posted on July 11, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Travel.

Tip of the Day

Itchy, welty mosquito bites gettin' you down? Welcome to my world... it's bug city madness ova hurr! 

Do I have some excellent news for you, dahling: meat tenderizer!

Mix it with a bit of water to create a paste. Apply to bites. No more itch; no more welts. Bam! 

Mega-thanks my brother-in-law for this incredibly effective remedy that I shall utilize for the rest of my life. 

P.S. Make sure to use the unseasoned variety of meat tenderizer, unless you enjoy smelling like eau de rotisserie. 

In honor of this fabulous tip, please enjoy this deliciously-brutal track from Albuquerque's own thrash-noise darlings, Tenderizor. 

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvcxMVxoNoo]

Posted on July 10, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Health/Fitness, Music, Travel.

Happy Dioday

Ronnie James Dio: devil-horn divo, metal master, Sabbath singer, Elf king... we miss you... happy 69th birthday. 

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkysjcs5vFU]

Posted on July 10, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Birthdays.

Indy Trip Notes: Introducing Romper

This morning, we hit the flea market in Bargersville.  The girls laser-focused on a baby dwarf rabbit vendor. 

Jett the pony is no longer the newest member of the family. It gives me great pleasure to introduce Romper the rabbit. 

We've been home only a few hours now, and Romper is already fitting in quite well with the family. Welcome, Romper.

I found this hicktacular Bargersville flea market footage from '95 on YouTube. It's pretty much the same today. Watch if you dare... or you're reeeeally bored.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yv6QXLzXAH4]

 

Posted on July 10, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Travel.

Indy Trip Notes: Foot Fitness

There's a fab little place in the Indianapolis suburb of Greenwood called Foot Fitness. It's a little slice of heaven in the form of a cool, dimly-lit single room chock full o' Vietnamese masseuses. 

The treatment begins with a foot soak. While soaking, your hands and arms are massaged. Next, your feet are dried with a fluffy towel, then you receive a vigorous leg massage and foot acupressure/reflexology treatment. Your chair is then fully reclined, and it's time for the... ahhhhh... scalp massage. Then you flip over and enjoy a vigorous neck, shoulder and back massage. And by vigorous, I mean not for wimps; these dudes put the pressure on ---- in a good way. However, if you prefer a light touch, go somewhere else, tenderoni; Foot Fitness is not for sissies.

The hour-long treatment runs... get ready to fall over... $25. Yep. Not a typo. Twenny-fi dolla, my friends. How's THAT for fabulous? 

I love you, Foot Fitness. I shall return each and every time I'm in town. Promise. 

 

Posted on July 10, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Beauty, Fabulousness, Travel.

Indy Trip Notes: Roller Mania

Today's agenda: roller skating fabulousness. 

In case you were wondering about my level of roller skating proficiency, click play. 

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miT9GwCQvww]

Posted on July 9, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Travel.