Do I have some excellent news for you, dahling: meat tenderizer!
Mix it with a bit of water to create a paste. Apply to bites. No more itch; no more welts. Bam!
Mega-thanks my brother-in-law for this incredibly effective remedy that I shall utilize for the rest of my life.
P.S. Make sure to use the unseasoned variety of meat tenderizer, unless you enjoy smelling like eau de rotisserie.
In honor of this fabulous tip, please enjoy this deliciously-brutal track from Albuquerque's own thrash-noise darlings, Tenderizor.