Posts filed under Health/Fitness

You Might Be Impressed

Tonight, I made oatmeal cookies from scratch. I dumped trail mix into the batter. You might need to try this recipe. It's pretty damn delicious.

It's the time of year where warm, fresh cookies are highly apropos. 

I also just returned from Bali and can't stop eating fattening American fare. 

Jonathan Rockwell is going to weep when he sees me. Seriously. 

Posted on November 17, 2011 and filed under Fabulousness, Health/Fitness.

Zombie Infested Race of the Day

My brother, Zach, just turned me on to one of the coolest things evah:  A zombie infested 5K obstacle course race!!!

The event is called Run for Your Lives. Here's the lowdown:

Protect your brain and run for your life. This is one race where your legs giving out are the least of your problems. Run For Your Lives is a first-of-its-kind event, one part 5K, one part obstacle course, one part escaping the clutches of zombies — and all parts awesome.

Runners will navigate a series of 12 obstacles throughout a 5K course in an attempt to reach the finish line — all while avoiding zombies. At the end of this adventure race, you get to celebrate survival (or zombie transformation) with live entertainment and music, local celebrities, vendors, food, and of course, beer!

Click here to find a location near you. Don't see anything near you listed? The virus is spreading in 2012; new locations coming soon.

Posted on September 25, 2011 and filed under Fabulousness, Health/Fitness.

Lazy Cakes Evening: Mission Aborted!

Well, so much for my Lazy Cakes evening experiment.  I just realized I didn't include a link to the Lazy Cakes site in the last post, thus, I Googled 'Lazy Cakes' so I could get the URL and edit the post. 

Lo and behold, my Google search revealed new info released last week: Lazy Cakes have been deemed unsafe by the FDA and are in danger of being seized from shelves if their manufacturer, HBB LLC, does not recall the product! 

According to a NY Daily News report, "Michael Roosevelt of the FDA said the agency is not aware of data that establishes the safety of melatonin for use as an ingredient in foods. He cited medical research that has shown concerns about potential reproductive, cardiovascular, ocular and neurological issues as side effects of using the drug."

Melatonin is what puts the lazy in lazy cakes, by the way. 

The original Lazy Cakes web site has been disabled. Now, the product name has been changed to Lazy Larry, complete with new web site


Look, I'm not a huge fan of the FDA, but I think I'll go ahead and skip this experiment, regardless. 


Posted on August 11, 2011 and filed under Health/Fitness, Scandal!.

Tip of the Day

Itchy, welty mosquito bites gettin' you down? Welcome to my world... it's bug city madness ova hurr! 

Do I have some excellent news for you, dahling: meat tenderizer!

Mix it with a bit of water to create a paste. Apply to bites. No more itch; no more welts. Bam! 

Mega-thanks my brother-in-law for this incredibly effective remedy that I shall utilize for the rest of my life. 

P.S. Make sure to use the unseasoned variety of meat tenderizer, unless you enjoy smelling like eau de rotisserie. 

In honor of this fabulous tip, please enjoy this deliciously-brutal track from Albuquerque's own thrash-noise darlings, Tenderizor


Posted on July 10, 2011 and filed under Health/Fitness, Music, Travel.


New research findings: Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder greatly increases the risk of cigarette smoking and substance abuse.  In a statement, researchers advise anyone with ADHD to receive counseling about the risk for substance abuse. 

Click here to learn more about this topic.  


Posted on June 2, 2011 and filed under Health/Fitness, News.

Viagra = Deafness?

Note to Viagra consumers: get your hearing checked.  Oooops! Guess I should repeat that a bit louder: GET YOUR HEARING CHECKED... you horny bastards.

(Opted not to yell that last part because, well,  it's just fun to mess with the hard-of-hearing. "Whaaat? Did you say 'two corny masters" or 'screw forty plasters'?")

Anyway, here's the deal: those little blue pills may have some not-so-fabulous side-effects... particularly, the inability to hear after taking them. 

Reportedly, 47 suspected cases of rapid (that's right: rapid) hearing loss have been linked to Viagra, as well as similar drugs like Levitra and Cialis. Over 200 other reported U.S. cases were excluded from the study due to lack of detail. 

Click here to read more. 

Via The Huffington Post

Posted on May 24, 2011 and filed under Health/Fitness, News, Products.

Weekend Wrap-Up

Due to not being able to post much this weekend, I give you the following... 1. Did anyone take advantage of World Naked Gardening Day yesterday? 

The American Association for Nude Recreation deemed May 14 as a world-wide day of tending to our gardens in the buff. I did not participate. Don't hate. 

2. Jesse James did it AGAIN.

The man is officially a douchebag. This time, he implied to Piers Morgan that ex-wife Sandra Bullock was insincere during their relationship, and that when she expressed her appreciation for him during award show acceptance speeches, it was nothing but acting. SHUT-uuuup, Mr. James. Shutupshutupshutupshutup!!!! 

3. Versace is launching a kids' fashion line. 

The House of Versace announced the Spring 2012 launch of Young Versace, a line exclusively for infant through 12-year-old fashionistas. The line is expected to incorporate natural fabrics, fun colors and the brand's glam-rock essence, not to mention it's iconic symbols, such as the Medusa and Greek frieze. 

4. Decent trade-off: Vaccine prevents HIV, causes herpes.

An experimental AIDS vaccine looks promising, as studies are indicating that it has the potential to eliminate HIV from the body. It works by injecting Cytomegalovirus (CMV), which is a type of herpes, into a person; this supposedly causes the immune system to constantly battle HIV. I soooo don't understand it, but it's incredibly encouraging. Think I'll have to do a cartwheel. Wheeee!

Hope a good weekend was had by all! 

Posted on May 15, 2011 and filed under Celebrities, Fashion, Health/Fitness, News.

Bath Salts? Seriously? Yes, I'm dwelling.

OK, I just did a bit of research on these bath salts being blamed for the lingerie/goat tragedy... These aren't standard bath salts like we spa-lovers are so fond of. "Bath salts" is merely a nickname for methylenedioxypyrovalerone (MDPV), a psychoactive drug with stimulant qualities. It's known to cause some seriously ka-ray-zay behavior for days on end, and gobs of health problems. Click here to read a pretty creepy news story about the stuff. 

Here's the kicker: it's legal. You can purchase it at head shops, convenience stores and other retail outlets. Apparently, the stuff's frequently located near the energy drinks. It's the new meth, and it's available everywhere... while marijuana remains largely illegal... go figure. 

Bath salts are sold under many names, including: 

  • Serenity Now
  • Ivory Wave
  • Vanilla Sky
  • Bonsai Grow
  • Lovey Dovey
  • Euphoria
  • White Lightning
  • Cloud 9
  • Aura
  • Blue Silk

Don't throw out the bathwater just yet. Things are a' changing. Today, the Florida Senate unanimously voted to ban MDPV/bath salts. Yay, Florida! Lord knows you've got your hands full of crazy over there, anyway. The last thing you need is even crazier crazies, beloved Sunshine State. Get those bath salts out, pronto

This better not jack up the price of my treasured AHAVA fabulousness, that's all I have to say. Any junkie that comes between me and a deluxe soak is in for a world o' pain. I will choke bitches out. Watch it!


Posted on May 3, 2011 and filed under Health/Fitness, News.

It's a Bird... It's a Plane... It's Super Gonorrhea!

Researchers warn that gonorrhea is increasingly developing resistance to all of the antibiotics we have to treat it in the U.S., according to a Yahoo! News report. This could cause the sexually-transmitted disease to develop into a (cue 'dun-dun-dun!' doom music)... superbug. This will, of course, make it very difficult to control the disease. Yikes. 

For your viewing pleasure, here's über-hawt Dr. Savage (name = five stars) somewhat awkwardly explaining gonorrhea symptoms. Enjoy! [youtube=]

Posted on April 21, 2011 and filed under Health/Fitness, News.

Beer Beats Water for Hydration!

Y100.comResearchers at Granada University in Spain said drinking beer after strenuous physical activity can be beneficial for the body. The scientists said their study found beer can help dehydrated people retain liquid better than water alone, The Telegraph, a Biritsh newspaper, reported Friday.

Professor Manuel Garzon, who led the study, said the bubbles in beer can help quench thirst and the carbohydrates in the beverage can help make up for burned calories.

Click here to read the rest of the article.

Posted on April 8, 2011 and filed under Health/Fitness, News.

Meatless Monday

Hell hath frozen over. I took the Meatless Monday pledge.

I'm starting each week on a healthy, environmentally friendly, meat-free note.

I eat too much damn meat. Over it.

After taking the pledge, I excitedly scrawled "Meatless Monday!" on my jumbo desk calendar inside each week's Monday box.

D'oh! Got a little too excited. Sunday is the new Monday, dahling. God bless correction fluid.

Now I have that wretched Bangles song stuck in my head.

It's just another meatless Mondaaaaay. Ohhh-whoa. Wish it was Sundaaaay. Ohhh-whoa. CuzthenIwouldn'thaveusedupanentirebottleofcorrectionfluiiiiiid. Ohhh-whoa.

Posted on February 18, 2011 and filed under Announcements, Health/Fitness.