Posts filed under Products

Um... Fab Alert?

death wish coffee

Personally, this wouldn't make me feel fabulous. Far from it. It would likely make me run into the street, screeching and tearing my hair out in clumps.

Some people, however, might find it fabulous. You go, jitterbugs.

Behold: Death Wish Coffee, which bills itself as "the world's strongest coffee."

Your basic cup of joe containes about 320 milligrams of caffeine. Sixteen ounces of Death Wish: about 660 milligrams.

According to the company's website:  "Death Wish Coffee is the most highly caffeinated premium dark roast organic coffee in the world. This is extreme coffee, not for the weak. Consider yourself warned."

Note to my premium dark roast organic coffee-loving husband: Please don't try it. I'm high-strung enough for both of us, dahling.

Posted on March 22, 2013 and filed under Fab Alert, Products, WTF?!?.

For Your Lunchbox

STACKED Wines Not your kid's lunchbox. Nooooo. Don't want no CPS visits. 

I just used a double-negative and can't just let it be there and know that my intelligent (and, of course, fabulous) readers will presume it's deliberate. I have to directly state that it's deliberate. I don't really use double-negatives! I don't! I'm just trying to be witty. And I'm stereotyping. Because those who put wine in their kids' lunchboxes likely aren't strangers to CPS... and double-negatives. Oh, c'mon---you know it's true. Maybe not wine, though... more like malt liquor? Hell, I don't know. I guess I need to work on my stereotyping. There's one for the to-do list. Send... overdue... holiday... gift... thank-you... notes. Compile... baby... albums. Work... on... sterotyping. Take... Volvo... for... oil... change. 

I digress. 

This is for your lunchbox, dahling. From STACKED Wines: Single servings of vino, prepackaged in sealed plastic glasses. 

Five stars. This screams summertime croquet match in the park! Don't give me no flack for loving croquet, either. Intentional double-negative. 

*NOTE: Although you should absolutely should watch this whole clip, if you don't have time, just hit the one minute mark.


Posted on January 24, 2013 and filed under Booze, Fabulousness, Products.

Four More Weeks...

... until I can treat myself to this majestic splendor: the new Stoli Salted Karamel, a premium vodka described in its press release as "the perfect balance of sweet and savory - golden brown caramel delicately enhanced with salt." 

Oh my. Oh my. Ohhhhh myyyyy. 

I seriously just stopped typing for a good few minutes and did some daydreaming about all the different concoctions I can whip up with this new Stoli offering. 

See you soon, vodka. 

Posted on July 6, 2012 and filed under Fabulousness, Products.

Snoop's Smokable Book

Leave it to ol' Snoop Dogg... 

Introducing Rolling Words, Snoop's smokable songbook. Each page is a rolling paper with Snoop’s greatest songs and lyrics written on them (in non-toxic ink, of course) for your rolling pleasure. The pages are perforated and easily-detachable. 

The book is a promotion for Snoop Dogg’s Kingsize Slim Rolling Papers.

Posted on April 5, 2012 and filed under Products.

It's a Chocolate Bomb!

Behold: The Braquier Chocolate Bomb

This delish treat is filled with candy, sugared almonds other goodies. The outer shell is made from 70% dark chocolate.

Simply place the Braquier bomb in the middle of a table, light the wick, wait 30 seconds, and---BOOM!---let the fun begin. The bomb explodes, sending chocolate and candy flying all over the room. Good times!

Posted on December 12, 2011 and filed under Products.

Highway to Drunk

Behold! It's AC/DC: The Wine. Feast your eyes on this rock n' roll wine list, dahling. 

    • AC/DC Back In Black Shiraz 
    • AC/DC You Shook Me All Night Long Moscato 
    • AC/DC Highway To Hell Cabernet Sauvignon 
    • AC/DC Hells Bells Sauvignon Blanc 

What, no Whole Lotta Rosé?!? Booooo! Hiss! I quit.

Sorry, mate; the wine's only available in Australia. If you're desperate for a piece of the latest "what the hell were they thinking?!?" AC/DC merch, put your name on the waiting list for AC/DC Monopoly, which is slated for release on August 30, which happens to be my 40th birthday. That was not a gift hint; seriously. A Slayer Monopoly set, however, is a totally different story. Sadly, though, that doesn't exist. Poo! 



Posted on August 15, 2011 and filed under Music, Products.

Stare Off!

Bored? Tend to not blink much? Play the Samsung SMART TV Stare Battle.

The challenge: Stare at the new SMART TV for as long as possible without blinking. 

An eye-tracking device registers your eyelid movements on the webcam. During the game, players take on internet lip-synch sensation Keenan Cahill, who tries to distract players by using tactics such as calling them on Skype, showing YouTube videos, and showcasing other SMART TV features. 

Each week, the player with the longest stare time will be rewarded with a SMART TV prize package.

Click here to play!

Posted on August 2, 2011 and filed under Products.

Breast-Feeding Baby Doll Hits U.S. Stores This Month!

She's popular in Europe; let's see how she does here. She's like the Cheryl Cole of breast-feeding, I suppose... Ladies and gentlemen, meet Breast Milk Baby, coming soon to a store near you. 

Made by Berjuan Toys of Spain, BMB comes with a top for girls featuring two flowers where the nipples should be. When BMB's mouth connects with the flowers, she makes sucking noises. 

Um... I'm still trying to decide whether Breast Milk Baby fascinates or frightens me. Thoughts? 



Posted on July 21, 2011 and filed under Products.

Viagra = Deafness?

Note to Viagra consumers: get your hearing checked.  Oooops! Guess I should repeat that a bit louder: GET YOUR HEARING CHECKED... you horny bastards.

(Opted not to yell that last part because, well,  it's just fun to mess with the hard-of-hearing. "Whaaat? Did you say 'two corny masters" or 'screw forty plasters'?")

Anyway, here's the deal: those little blue pills may have some not-so-fabulous side-effects... particularly, the inability to hear after taking them. 

Reportedly, 47 suspected cases of rapid (that's right: rapid) hearing loss have been linked to Viagra, as well as similar drugs like Levitra and Cialis. Over 200 other reported U.S. cases were excluded from the study due to lack of detail. 

Click here to read more. 

Via The Huffington Post

Posted on May 24, 2011 and filed under Health/Fitness, News, Products.