And when I say nigh, I'm talking Saturday, dahling. It's allllll over... according to the Family Radio cult.
Founded by 89-year-old Harold Camping, Family Radio is heard around the globe in 48 different languages. According to Camping, Jesus will return to Earth Saturday and launch a five-month countdown to doomsday.
Thus, you don't have to totally freak out just yet, as we actually have 'til October 21 to kiss our asses goodbye.
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OK, this clock... nooooo.
Meet the Aphelion alarm clock, which boasts a hellish snooze feature: When the alarm sounds, the damn clock launches a ball into the room, forcing the user to rise from bed, locate the ball and place it back into its clock-spot in order to active the snooze feature.
I'm annoyed just thinking about the whole ordeal.
via übergizmo
The horror!!!
A moment of silence for 17-year-old Lindsey Wickson, shown in this video biting the dust repeatedly on the catwalk at Naomi Campbell's Fashion for Relief fundraiser in Cannes this week.
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It's taking off, dahling. Mexican pointy boots are infecting the world! Muaahahaha!
Click here to check out Buzzfeed's 40 Ridiculous Pairs of Really Pointy Mexican Boots.
The giggling news anchors make the whole thing waaaaay funnier than it actually is... I think... yeah, it's still pretty damn funny even without the uncontrollable anchor laughter. That poor, poor child, wobbling like there's no tomorrow. Wobble on, girl! You still look gorgeous! Sorry about the disabled embedding. Watch it on YouTube. Laughter is good for you.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E69jHd4qakU]
I have no idea who this baby is, but I--and the rest of the nation--sure as hell hope its name isn't Brayden or Mackenzie.
The Mother Nature Network has released the Most Hated Baby Names in America, my friends. Click here to find out if your kid's on the list. If they are, screw it. Who made the Mother Nature Network judge and jury, anyway. Brayden on, my wayward son.
Let's all be proud of our names.
Thank you, Jeeves. That will be all.
My lovely friends, Cali and Meghan (seen here with crutches, which are long since gone), have arrived for a week-long visit here at the chic treehouse. After a few domestic stops, they're then heading to Australia, Malaysia, Cambodia, Laos, Vietnam, Phillipines and Bali for several months. They're basically the coolest couple ever.
Sometimes, we find ourselves at Costco. It happens. We might not be thrilled about it, but whatevs.
This, alone, makes the trip worthwhile: Island Way fruit sorbet.
It's creamy, yummy sorbet in its own natural fruit shell. Half shells of lemons, oranges, coconuts and pineapples are cored out, then filled with the sorbet.
Quite refreshing on a warm spring day. I imagine they'll become at least thrice as desirable in the summer months. Five stars!
It's Vesak, AKA Buddha's birthday.
Universal peace to all. Period.
Yes, I could have made placed Buddha in the birthday spotlight this morn, but Dennis friggin' Hopper... look, you can't rank excellence... to each, his own post!
The smartest man on Earth (after Stevie Wonder... and Rip Taylor), Stephen Hawking, told the Guardian that he rejects the notion of heaven.
"I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail," Hawking told the Guardian. "There is no heaven or afterlife for broken down computers; that is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark."
What do you think of Hawking's declaration?
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And, just for good measure...
If there IS a heaven, I hope and pray that I'm greeted by Rip Taylor himself (if he goes first, that is... no pressure, Rip... haaaay!) That's reason enough to behave yourself during your time on this Earth. If Rip's on the other side, be good now, because you do NOT want to miss out on that opportunity.
End of an era. Farewell, Sahara Hotel and Casino.
Dennis Hopper... GURU... it's your first birthday since leaving us... 75... you are deeply missed.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a baby with a member of his household staff. The baby was born over a decade ago, but Maria Shriver just found out about it. This is why she dumped his ass last week. Case closed.
Such a lovely place (such a lovely place)... such a lovely Orgasm Coach... we're livin' it up at the Hotel Seksifornia... any time of year (any time of year) you can find an Orgasm Coach heeeeere.
Mirrors on the ceiling... and pink champagne on... OK, enough. It's over.
There's a damn love hotel in Sweden. Clearly, as evidenced by my butchered Eagles' lyrics, you might suspect there's a gettin' off concierge--AKA Orgasm Coach---on the premises.
The Venusgarden hotel in Skurup (Near Malmo) is operated by professional Orgasm Coach and best-selling author of Orgasmera Mera (Orgasming More), Ylva Franzénhusband, who runs the Love Hotel with husband, Åke Fridell.
The three seksiness-themed bedrooms---Kamasutra, Venus and Tao---boast a receptive assortment of amenities such as oils, candles, feathers, toys and... stuff... to enhance the lodging experience. Hot Swedish hotel times!
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ae8Hmm0lx3o]
Here's my ferosh little pal, Lauren, who looooves her some lipstick.
Next thing you know, she'll be stomping around in Louboutins. Get it, Lauren!
Thanks to parents Amanda and Eric for sharing this positively priceless shot.
Remember that totally loco pageant mom who was injecting her eight-year-old daughter with Botox? Bay Area child protective services took the girl today. It's never something to cheer about, but hopefully, the mom's now getting the help she clearly needs. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-f_-DZLGCt0]
“After considerable deliberation and reflection, I have decided not to pursue the presidency," Donald Trump just said in a statement.
“I maintain the strong conviction that if I were to run, I would be able to win the primary and ultimately, the general election,” he said, adding, “Ultimately, however, business is my greatest passion, and I am not ready to leave the private sector.”
Phooey! Now who are we going to make fun of? We need prompt replacement, STAT!
It's National Dog Bite Prevention Week, my friends.
Par-TAY!!!! Cocktails for everyone!
To help raise dog attack awareness and promote responsible pet ownership, the U.S. Postal Service released the following stats:
Where do dogs bite letter carriers the most?
1.) Houston: 62 letter carriers attacked in 2010.
2.) Columbus, Ohio and San Diego (tie): 45 each.
3.) Los Angeles: 44
4.) Louisville: 40
5.) San Antonio, Texas and St. Louis (tie): 39 each.
6.) Cleveland and Phoenix (tie): 38 each.
7.) Minneapolis and Portland, Ore.: 35 each.
8.) Denver and Philadelphia: 31 each.
9.) Sacramento: 30
10.) Seattle: 28
No bad dogs, please. If you need good-dog inspiration, simply channel the effervescent and oh-so-stylish Mary Poppins, who received a new sailor dress yesterday.
It's Liberace's 92nd birthday. Eternal ferocity.
This clip = hell yeah. The bubble bath piano scene...
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