Sorry, Charlie.

The fun never stops at Camp Warlock.

Despite soon-to-be-wife Brooke Mueller's alleged drug relapse and refusal to provide a urine sample last week, Charlie Sheen was denied full custody of his twin sons, Bob and Max, yesterday. Although the former couple's pre-divorce custody agreement mandates that Sheen and Mueller undergo random drug testing three times a month, and each must remain clean or lose custody of their twins, the Los Angeles judge ruled that Mueller should maintain legal and physical custody of the boys. 

Sheen left the courtroom and immediately hopped a plane to Washington, D.C. to continue his Violent Torpedo of Truth tour. He reportedly bombed. Boos, hecklers... the semi-usual.

Suffice it to say, it was not a winning day for Charlie.

Posted on April 20, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Celebrities.

Absolutely Fabulous News!

Prepare to rejoice.  Absolutely Fabulous is back. 

Yes, seriously. 

"In late August I start filming on three episodes of Absolutely Fabulous, which we are all ecstatic about," Joanna Lumley (Patsy) said in a recent Hello! magazine interview. 

I think it's safe to assume that this is the best news of the day. I might need to do at least one cartwheel. Wheeeee! 

Cigarettes and cocktails for everyone. Cheers, sweetie darling! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpNJlTxIUOk

Posted on April 19, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Announcements, Fabulousness.

Viagra-laced beer!

Behold! Royal Virility Performance by BrewDog, a limited-edition beer containing Viagra. Apparently, downing three bottles is equivalent to taking one of the blue seksi-times pills.

According to the label, the brew contains Viagra, chocolate, Horny Goat Weed and ‘a healthy dose of sarcasm’. The beer is a 7.5% ABV India Pale Ale and was brewed at BrewDog's brewery in Fraserburgh, UK. 

The beer was created to mark the upcoming royal wedding. Ugh. NO ESCAPE! 

Only 1,000 bottles are available for sale via BrewDog.com. Buy yours here. All proceeds will go to the Centrepoint charity, which Prince William supports. The BrewDog guys are considering creating more of this uplifting beer in the future. 

Posted on April 19, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Products.

Enough is Enough!

 OK, I've officially had my fill of royal wedding fever, thankyouverymuch. This frightening pizza was commissioned by Papa John's Pizza. Kate Middleton's dress is made of cheese. Note the delicate pepperoni flower perched ever-so-gently atop her mushroom veil. Prince William's morning suit is made of peppers and salami. 

"Royal Wedding fever is sweeping the world so we couldn't resist having some fun and creating our very own pizza portrait of Kate and William to celebrate their forthcoming marriage," said Andrew Varga, Papa John's chief marketing officer, in a press release.

Sorry, you can't order this majestic pie. It's one-of-a-kind. Laaaame. 

Nothing says royal wedding like a mozzarella smile, dahling.

OVER IT. 

Posted on April 18, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under WTF?!?.

Sweet Transbirthday

Tim Curry, villain extraordinaire, there are no words to describe how fabulous you are. Happy 65th birthday, good sir. If we ever meet, you're seriously getting slapped for being such a g.d. genius.

Posted on April 19, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Birthdays.

Sorry for All the Mess

Ugh. A man stabbed himself to death while performing at an open mic night in Bend, Oregon Sunday. After performing his song, "Sorry for All the Mess," Kipp Rusty Walker, 19, pulled out a 6-inch knife and began stabbing himself repeatedly in the chest.

The audience at Strictly Organic Coffee Company thought it was part of the show and cheered Walker on. It wasn't until he collapsed in a pool of his own blood that they realized it was the real deal. Shortly thereafter, he died from his injuries at a local hospital. 

Apparently, Walker was hospitalized for suicidal behavior the month prior to the onstage suicide. 

Posted on April 18, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under News.

Sir, this ain't no roller derby...

ClickOrlando.com - PALM BAY, Fla. -- A man was arrested Saturday night on suspicion of grabbing girls after knocking them down at a roller skating party in Palm Bay. Click here to read the rest of the story. 

Fabulisa note: This story has one of my favorite news quotes of 2011 thus far...

 "(They) put handcuffs on him, and the whole entire crowd, everybody at the Skate Jam, was clapping and applauding the police," Clausen said.

Absolutely PRICELESS. Five stars. Cheers to everybody at the Skate Jam!

Posted on April 17, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under News, WTF?!?.

WTF?!?

OK, so Nicolas Cage was arrested Saturday in New Orleans for domestic abuse battery, disturbing the peace and public drunkenness. Apparently, he was so sloshed that he couldn't remember where he lived, and his wife, Alice Kim, tried to set him straight. Needless to say, mayhem ensued. 

Here's the kicker... guess who bailed him out? 

Heeeeeheehee! That's right, kiddies: none other than Duane "Dog" Chapman himself. Serious. Read the story here. 

God, I love this country. 

Posted on April 17, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Celebrities, WTF?!?.

Credo

 “Without music, life would be an error.”

-- Friedrich Nietzsche

Posted on April 16, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Credo.