Can you believe Paul Stanley is 60? It's true.
Still rocking arenas at 60. Go, Paul. Rock out, sir.
Happy birthday, Starchild.
Little-known fact: Paul Stanley is one of my still-unfulfilled Halloween costumes. I'll do it. Watch.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9J-jTAqBgm0
It's an important day, dahling.
Stop what you're doing. Just pause for a moment.
Take a deep breath in... annnnnd exhale.
Now, focus your thoughts on the fabulousness of Dolly Parton.
Hold her there, in the sacred space of your mind, and meditate on the absolute wonder of wits, wigs, falsetto, stilettos and true southern grit.
OM.
Happy 66th, Dolly. We love you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljwG27_I06g
Here's one of Dolly's fans, Joshua, with a.... um... cute?... birthday message to Dolly. Go, Josh. Rock on, Dolly.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4-PsxD25B4&feature=related
Yesterday, we hit the birthday jackpot. Today: dry as a bone.
There are no notable birthdays today to speak of, dahling.
Welcome to Yawnsville. Enjoy your day.
Perhaps the information gods will smile on us by dropping a good scandal or something. We can only hope. Fingers crossed!
Wow---there are a plethora of birthdays today, dahling.
Kid Rock: 41
Michelle Obama: 48
Jim Carrey: 50
Muhammad Ali: 70
James Earl Jones: 81
Vidal Sassoon: 84
Betty White: 90 (yay!)
Al Capone: 113
Benjamin Franklin: 306
Look at that list. They're all fabulous, unquestionably. There's also no question about who should receive today's spotlight: Ms. Eartha Kitt. She is the most fabulous of them all! Yes, even more fabulous than our first lady. Yes, even more fabulous than The Greatest (no offense, Mr. Ali, we're incredibly fond of you, too).It's EARTHA KITT, for crying out loud. There is no argument here. Eartha wins, hands down.
Happy 85th birthday, Eartha. You are perpetually in the spotlight of our hearts. We love you so.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQ5VaBgXzuM
It's Ethel Merman's 104th birthday. You are eternally fabulous, Ethel. You are also my favorite songstress to imitate. If you're ever feeling down, I highly recommend belting out a song---any song, really---in your best Merman voice. You'll feel so much better, promise. We love you, Ethel!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icr71H1nb3Q
In other words, Happy Charoday.
Happy birthday, Charo. We love you, but we also love a good scandal, so we must address the age thing.
Here's Wikipedia's take on the mystery of Charo's age.
Official documents in Murcia, Spain (where she was born) and the United States indicate she was born in 1941, but Charo has insisted she was born in 1951 and persuaded a United States court to uphold the 1951 birth year as official.
The performer has said in past interviews that her parents allowed her to falsify her age to appear to be older after marrying 66-year-old band leader Xavier Cugat when she was 15.[2] Further complicating the question is the fact that contemporary press reports gave her age at marriage as 21,[3][4] an April 1966 column on the wedding plans stated she was 20 and Cugat was 60,[5] and columns less than two years before the marriage refer to her as Cugat's "18-year-old protegée" — which, if she was falsifying her age, would have made her actually 13 at the time.[6] In October 1977[7] — the same year in which Charo filed for divorce from Cugat and became an American citizen — a United States court upheld the 1951 birth year as official, with the performer providing a sworn statement from her parents in support of her claim.[8] Commenting on the disputes over her age, she has said that the public's disbelief could prove advantageous: "But if people really believe I'm older, that's fine. Don't be surprised if I come out with my own cosmetics, a new energy bar and maybe some vitamins."
What do you think, dahling? Is she 61 or 71?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_elGT8qYfE
Happy 43rd birthday, Dave Grohl. You might be the coolest guy ever.
If I was permitted to pick one rock star to simply have a beer and a chat with, I'd choose you. You're my fave down-to-earth rocker, sir. I also dig your gum-chewing affinity. Dave Grohl looooves him some gum.
With all that being said, I'd like to nominate Dave Grohl for president. It just makes sense.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhdCslFcKFU
Hallelujah! Cue singing angels! Fire the confetti cannons!
Rejoice, for this is the day that Saint Rip Taylor was borrrrrn!
Oh, Saint Rip! Thank you for all things fabulous. Forgive us for any non-fabulousness. Shower us with your grace and confetti whenever possible. Amen.
Happy 78th birthday, Saint Rip. All the love to you, sir.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQN3Augv2PA
Happy 46th birthday to the spooky-yet-fabulous Rob Zombie.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqQuihD0hoI
Mary J. Blige is 41 today. How amazing is she? A true testament to the power of the human spirit. This woman overcame poverty, abuse, depression and addiction and low self-esteem in order to achieve her full potential.
We bow and smile, Mary. You are the epitome of what fabulous truly is.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ilnw3_oViBQ
Two glorious creatures made their global debuts on this day... 1. Rod Stewart: 67
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmzqKHJvWnM
2. Pat Benatar: 59
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Sa0MkWoeTk
Happy 30th birthday to the lovely Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge.
Welcome to your dirty thirties, dahling.
How's THAT for noble? Jolly good!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=al0j4jbNVWo
Happy 75th birthday to chanteuse extraordinaire, Dame Shirley Bassey. Five-star fabulous!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51Wg6k9cWhM
Beyonce popped yesterday!
Hip hop royalty has a new princess: Blue Ivy Carter (papa Jay-Z's real name is Shawn Carter).
Congrats to Bey and Jay.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-n3Ydy7ras
Today, Nic Cage is 48. Jeremy Renner is 41. Katie Couric is 55. Hell, Kenny Loggins even has a birthday today; he's 64.
I choose to place William Peter Blatty in the birthday spotlight. Why? Because he wrote the scariest freakin' book and screenplay of all-time, that's why!
Mr. Blatty, thank you for your magnum opus, The Exorcist. To this day, there's nothing scarier, hands down.
By the way, happy 84th birthday. Still going strong. Good work, sir.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jvhl4At6AX8
It's birthday #66 for Syd Barrett, psychedelic rock pioneer-cum-madman. You're loved and missed, Syd. It's our hope that you're in a much better place.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJkQVhn8cHQ&feature=related
Oh, Marilyn Manson, you cuddly lil' cutie, happy 43rd birthday, snookums.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_uMGuktiqo&feature=related
Happy 52nd birthday to Michael Stipe.
I'm sorry that the breakup of your band was deemed one of 2011's top "not news" events.
I'm also sorry that Westword deemed R.E.M.'s breakup "boring."
I'm sorry you're always battling with Courtney Love. When you're amigas, it's magical. When you're sparring, she talks mad shit about you to the media. Why anyone would befriend that indiscreet trainwreck is beyond me.
I'm sorry I'm giving you shit. It had to be done. You're still five-star fabulous.
I'm sorry, Michael... I'm just sorry, sir.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjJYywFNbuw
Can we have a word about how fabulous Victoria Principal is?
Blah-blah-fabulous-blah-blah-victoriaprincipal-blahblah-fab-blah-vicki-blah-blah-blah-faaabulous-blahblah.
Done.
Happy 62nd, Pamela Barnes Ewing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8vki1ab9Co&feature=related
Christy Turlington, you fierce, fierce, FIERCE woman, happy 43rd birthday.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diYAc7gB-0A