What Does This Dream Mean?

I have always had a very active and bizarre dream life. Last night's dream, however, ranks high among my wackiest dreams evah. In the dream, I went to Self Serve Sexuality Resource Center, my local hip and non-creepy seksi times boutique. I purchased the Hitachi Magic Wand (widely known as the Cadillac of vibrators). I brought it home and took it out of the bag. It didn't look the same as it did in the shop. Now, it had the live head of David Crosby on top. And, naturally, he was singing... and wouldn't quit. It was the same damn song over and over again: Southern Cross. And it was only the chorus; no verses. Ugh.

I wasn't pleased about this. However, instead of taking the stupid thing back to Self Serve, I decided to hide it... on top of my grandparents' refrigerator. The whole family was gathered around the table for family dinner. Suddenly, the chorus to Southern Cross filled the room.

"Where is that coming from?" my grandmother shouted as she rose from her chair.

I---with superhuman ability---literally flew (like Superman) out of my chair and onto the top of the 'fridge. I hid the monster machine behind my back, banging it against the wall. He wouldn't stop singing.

"I hate you, Crosby!" I muttered under my breath.

What happened next? I have no idea. Thankfully, I woke up.

I decided to create a crude picture of the horrific gadget for you. Can't seem to make it a larger size -- bummer. Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bw9gLjEGJrw

Posted on September 27, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Dreams, WTF?!? and tagged David Crosby Hitachi Magic Wand Self Serve Sexuality Resource Center Southern Cross.

Important Addition

I almost f**ked up big-time... It's Bryan Ferry's 66th birthday today. Olivia Newton-John be damned! 

I would kick myself for a full year if I failed to create a post for Bryan today. He's a fabü fave. 

Better late in the day today than tomorrow, Bryan. Love you, man. Thanks for being so g.d. suave. You are the epitome of posh fabulousness and all things graceful. 

Sheesh. Lots of cursing in this post. Far from appropriate for a Bryan Ferry tribute. Deal with it, dahling. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_KFebLWpY0

Posted on September 26, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Birthdays, Music and tagged Bryan Ferry Roxy Music.

Happy Olivianewtonjohnday

Like most women (and some men, several of whom I associate with), I wanted to be Olivia Newton-John when I was a girl. I lied to all the kids on the playground at my new elementary school and told them I was Sandy from Australia. My accent was atrocious. I was soon found out, however. Curses! 

Happy 63rd birthday, Olivia. You're still quite fabulous, dahling. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7m1UWSD-FaA

Posted on September 26, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Birthdays.

Zombie Infested Race of the Day

My brother, Zach, just turned me on to one of the coolest things evah:  A zombie infested 5K obstacle course race!!!

The event is called Run for Your Lives. Here's the lowdown:

Protect your brain and run for your life. This is one race where your legs giving out are the least of your problems. Run For Your Lives is a first-of-its-kind event, one part 5K, one part obstacle course, one part escaping the clutches of zombies — and all parts awesome.

Runners will navigate a series of 12 obstacles throughout a 5K course in an attempt to reach the finish line — all while avoiding zombies. At the end of this adventure race, you get to celebrate survival (or zombie transformation) with live entertainment and music, local celebrities, vendors, food, and of course, beer!

Click here to find a location near you. Don't see anything near you listed? The virus is spreading in 2012; new locations coming soon. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFRfL0fmAOU&feature=related

Posted on September 25, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Fabulousness, Health/Fitness and tagged 5K race run for your lives zombies.

Behold the Power of Booze

From the San Mateo (Calif.) Daily Journal: 

Police arrested Filipovich after responding to the Beech Street residence in Redwood City he shared with a female roommate. The woman, who is black, said she returned home to find an intoxicated, naked Filipovich breaking items and screaming that he hates black people. When police entered the home, Filipovich ran outside to the driveway wearing an open robe and waving a frying pan. He fought with officers trying to arrest him, kicking and reaching for one’s Taser, until being restrained with a wrap device.

After his arrest, Filipovich reportedly asked officers to cut off his head. At the hospital, he screamed at nurses and masturbated, according to the District Attorney’s Office.

Officers reported finding four empty liquor bottles in the home.

Posted on September 25, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under WTF?!?.

Happy Pedroalmodovarday

Happy 62nd birthday to bad-ass director, producer and screenwriter, Pedro Almodovar.

Just think, Pedro: You're the same age and zodiac sign as The Boss, but you're a thousand times cooler. There's a birthday gift for ya', sir.

I'm sorry, Boss fans. I know you loathe me. We just don't gel, Bruce and I. There's nothing that can be done about it.

P.S. I quit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoTsayE0OAk&feature=related

Posted on September 25, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Birthdays and tagged bruce springsteen Pedro Almodovar The Boss.

Five Fab Things About Yesterday

1. Hair salvation, courtesy of Kelli Williams. Welcome back, platinum. 

 

2. Who doesn't love receiving fresh chile verde from a guy in a sweet Pac Man shirt? 

 

3. Special delivery! Super-delish engagement gift from Mom & Jim. Thanks, fam! Almost looks too good to eat. I said ALMOST... these treats are history, dahling. 

 

4. Mary, in semi-comatose state: half asleep/half awake. She was totally unaware of the tongue. 

 

5. Bradd time. Happies! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWfbGGZE07M

Posted on September 23, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Fabulousness.

If Bruce Springsteen Is The Boss, Then I Quit!

Oh, Bruce. I've tried to love you. I know nearly everybody else on the damn planet loves you, but I just don't think it's gonna work out between us. I'm sorry. No... please... don't cry...

It's OK, Brucie. Shhhh... now, there... it's OK... shhhh. Huuuush lil' bebby, don' say a worrrd. Come on, now. It'll be alright, sweetie.  Here's a tissue.

Now let me see a smile. C'mon, you can do it. Who's got a smile for me?

There we go! There's a smile! Attaboy! Way to go, Bruce! 

Yeah, yeah... that's Bon Jovi... whatever. Same difference. These all-American, ballad-loving Jersey rockers are all the same to me: BORRRRINGG!

Happy 62nd birthday, Bruce. Stop crying. 

R.I.P., Clarence Clemons!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpZk5pcwBAk

Posted on September 23, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Birthdays and tagged bon jovi bruce springsteen clarence clemons.

Credo (for Kim)

As we advance in life it becomes more and more difficult, but in fighting the difficulties, the inmost strength of the heart is developed. 

Vincent Van Gogh
Posted on September 22, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Credo.

Triple-Fab Birthday

Not one... not two... but THREE of my icons have birthdays today. Joy to the world! Let's admire them, shall we? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mF1aUGGuhYY

Johnette Napolitano: 54

Nick Cave: 54

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5cbNcoVkBM&feature=related

And, last but certainly not least, Joan Jett is 53.

I love you, Joan. You are one of the reasons I am who I am. You were there for me when I was a geeky, unpopular kid in small town Indiana, dreaming of more. I didn't have many friends to play with, but I had you in my gargantuan headphones. I obsessed over your pics and thought: If this chick can love rock 'n' roll and wear leather pants, damn it, so can I. To this very day, I still love rock 'n' roll and I still wear leather pants. Immense thanks and happy birthday, seksi betch. You positively rule.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXFra7gjElw&feature=related

Posted on September 22, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Birthdays, Music and tagged joan jett johnette napolitano nick cave.

R.I.P.R.E.M.

After 31 years and 15 albums, R.E.M. announced on its website this morning that the show's over. Here's the post: 

"To our Fans and Friends: As R.E.M., and as lifelong friends and co-conspirators, we have decided to call it a day as a band. We walk away with a great sense of gratitude, of finality, and of astonishment at all we have accomplished. To anyone who ever felt touched by our music, our deepest thanks for listening."

Thanks for all the fabulousness, guys. We'll miss you. How about a comeback tour in 2012? Think about it. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KA57Pafq_NU

Posted on September 21, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Music, R-I-P- and tagged R-E-M-.

Murray Birthday

Bill Murray is 61 today. He's so fabulous that I simply must post not one, but TWO videos. Wooooo! You see, I couldn't choose between my two fave Bill Murray songs. Thus, I give you both. Please enjoy. Happy birthday, Bill. I would slap the hell out of you, sir. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tx9LdAcnNF8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53DQgbj2mIc&feature=results_video&playnext=1&list=PL5264CB58BAE4DCA1

Posted on September 21, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Birthdays, Videos and tagged bill murray star wars.