I have always had a very active and bizarre dream life. Last night's dream, however, ranks high among my wackiest dreams evah. In the dream, I went to Self Serve Sexuality Resource Center, my local hip and non-creepy seksi times boutique. I purchased the Hitachi Magic Wand (widely known as the Cadillac of vibrators). I brought it home and took it out of the bag. It didn't look the same as it did in the shop. Now, it had the live head of David Crosby on top. And, naturally, he was singing... and wouldn't quit. It was the same damn song over and over again: Southern Cross. And it was only the chorus; no verses. Ugh.
I wasn't pleased about this. However, instead of taking the stupid thing back to Self Serve, I decided to hide it... on top of my grandparents' refrigerator. The whole family was gathered around the table for family dinner. Suddenly, the chorus to Southern Cross filled the room.
"Where is that coming from?" my grandmother shouted as she rose from her chair.
I---with superhuman ability---literally flew (like Superman) out of my chair and onto the top of the 'fridge. I hid the monster machine behind my back, banging it against the wall. He wouldn't stop singing.
"I hate you, Crosby!" I muttered under my breath.
What happened next? I have no idea. Thankfully, I woke up.
I decided to create a crude picture of the horrific gadget for you. Can't seem to make it a larger size -- bummer. Enjoy.