I Soooo F**king LOVE This!

My favorite news of the day, by FAR, is the latest scandal in the Salahi saga. 

Tuesday, Tareq Salahi, the husband of White House gate crasher and former Real Housewives of D.C. cast member Michaele Salahi, reported Michaele missing. He believed she was kidnapped, as they've received death threats since they became household names for being total jackasses. 

Apparently, Michaele failed to show up for a Tuesday morning hair appointment. Tareq launched a public appeal for help, including posts on Facebook and Twitter stating that he believed his wife “may have been kidnapped or abducted” and was “being held under duress and forced to tell persons, including authorities she is okay.” He even enlisted TMZ for help. 

Late Tuesday night, he received a mysterious call from Michaele in which she sounded like she wasn't being herself, Tareq reported. He contacted the police and FBI and filed a missing person's report. However, the kidnapping case was closed minutes later. 

Why? Michaele was found in the open arms of none other than Neil Schon. Yes, the guitarist for Journey.

She attended Schon's show in Nashville on Tuesday before continuing on with him to Memphis for Journey's U.S. tour. They're reportedly still together at this very moment. 

Mystery solved, dahling: Michaele left Tareq for Neil effin' Schon. Upgrade!!!!

Thus concludes the latest Salahi scandal. Knowing these clowns, there's more to come, I'm sure. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMD8hBsA-RI&ob=av2n

Posted on September 15, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under WTF?!?.

Winner of the Day

Kudos to Mike Jerrick of Philadelphia's Fox 29 news for doing what every anchor in his position has likely wanted to do. Five stars!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4B3YeZMxrhE

Posted on September 13, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Fabulousness.

Amy Birthday

 

She nearly made it to 28. Sad-sad-sad-sad-saaaaaad. 

Here's the new track that was released today. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBSwR2S83Us

Posted on September 13, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Birthdays.

R.I.P.

Hip hop/electro producer DJ Medhi died today when a mezzanine collapsed at his Paris home. He was 34. Tragic. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=mc7ND4Qrd3I#!

 

Posted on September 13, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under R-I-P-.

Barry Birthday

It's Barry White's 67th birthday. Now I'm all misty-eyed. Man, I love Barry White. Please tell me you do, too. If you don't, it's probably best that you don't tell me. Otherwise, I'll have no choice but to pull my glove from my handbag and slap you soundly with it. Viva Barry! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsn0RPoZJPc

Posted on September 12, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Birthdays.

Friday Fabü

Rejoice! It’s rant sesh time again! Get cozy (not too cozy, however … see #3), make— or pour — a nice little snack and absorb the tragedy and wonder of Fabü Fashion Blunders.

Look, we all commit fashion crimes now and then. Just yesterday, I realized I’d spent the whole day walking around with my dress label sticking out. It was a decent label, but doesn’t that actually make it worse? As if I was attempting to silently scream to everyone, “Look at me! I’m wearing Betsey Johnson! I’m posh, OK?!?” Oh, the humanity.

Minor wrinkles (pun intended) aside, we often have total control over our style snafus. There are some errors; however, that seem to be reaching epidemic proportions.

1. Let’s tackle the worst offender first: The dreaded muffin-top. For those who have been away on an extended Mars vaycay, this raging fashion faux pas is when someone wears a pair of too-tight jeans that makes their flab spill out over the waistband, producing a look not unlike a muffin sitting over the edge of the paper case.

Naturally, the resurrection of low-rise jeans and midriff tops are prime contributors to this muffin-top madness. I implore you: Do not wear these togs if your bod isn’t bangin’. Dress for your body type. Focus on the positive. Pick your best assets and design your outfits around them. Capice?

2. You might call them clam diggers, culottes, shpants or pedal pushers; I call them “hell no.” These pants are not your friend; trust me. They make short people appear shorter, and tall people look like growth-spurt rejects from The Little Rascals.

If you’re so committed to this look that it’s become a near-daily staple, however, please, a). hire a fashion consultant; you need more wardrobe variety, or, b). switch to well-tailored capri pants, which are more tapered in the calf and compliment all figures. See? You look gorgeous already.

3. Do not wear pajama bottoms in public. Do not wear pajama bottoms in public. Do. Not. Wear. Pajama. Bottoms. In. Public.

4. Now, we’ll address the full-scale horror of shrimp ‘n’ biscuits. This is the calamitous result of wearing open toe and/or heel shoes that are too small, resulting in the toes and/or heels hanging over the shoe boundary. Thus, the toes resemble cocktail shrimp and the heels look like calloused, oven-fresh biscuits. Mmmm! Doesn’t that conjure the loveliest visual?

As the saying goes, “If the shoe fits, wear it. If the shoe doesn’t fit, think of shrimp ‘n’ biscuits.” That should help you stick with the proper size.

Click here to read the rest of the column.

Posted on September 9, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Fabü.

Happy Colonelsandersday

Colonel Harland Sanders: 121. Go, Colonel. 

When I was a wee schoolgirl, the whole class laughed at me during a group reading exercise because I pronounced colonel 'cole-O-nell.' I was also shamed for repeatedly mispronouncing corps as 'corpse.' 

The soldier quickly moved up the ranks, ultimately becoming a cole-O-nell in the Army Corpse. 

Sheesh. It's a f**king wonder I ever passed third grade. 

About the pic up there. It's a placard (ema) typically used at Shinto shrines. People write their prayers on the back and leave them at the shrine for the gods to answer. This ema was hanging from the ceiling at a Japanese KFC.

Who prays to Cole-O-nell Sanders? Seriously. He's dead, which technically makes him a Shinto god, but still... c'mon.

I deem this ema both the most ridiculous AND fabulous thing of the day. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dIGxU__Aq4

Posted on September 9, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Birthdays.

Patsy Birthday

Patsy Cline would be 79 today. We lost her at 30 in a plane crash. Sigh. We love and miss you, Patsy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-wJNpWgss8&feature=related

Posted on September 7, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Birthdays.

My Vote for Worst Pageant Mom Evah Goes tooooo....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uw7WRrt9ldw Wendy Dickey!

Perhaps you saw her on Toddlers and Tiaras. She's the one who dressed her three-year-old daughter, Paisley, as a hooker for the celebrity-wear competition in a recent pageant. To be precise, she dressed Paisley as Julia Roberts’ prostitute character from Pretty Woman.

“Well, at this pageant there was an option to do celebrity-wear,” Dickey told Entertainment Weekly. “And we thought about what we could wear with her being a brunette and Julia Roberts is my favorite actress of all time. I thought it was real cute to do Julia. She’s 3, if she was 10 I never would have considered this. But as young as she is I thought it was very comical.”

There you have it, friends.

Congratulations, Wendy. 

Via Entertainment Weekly

Posted on September 6, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under WTF?!?.

Stacie, Come Baaaack!

The general consensus in Albuquerque is that Stacie should come back for an extended visit. 

See, she's sad about it, too. She totally wants to come back. 

We love you, Stacie. You are the smarty hotness. 

P.S. Come back soon. 

Posted on September 7, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Fabulousness.

Happy Chrissiehyndeday

Ohhhh... this is an exciting day. It's a milestone for one of my icons. Chrissie Hynde is 60, betch. I'm so crazy about this woman!!! Let's quote her, shall we? 

"I was never too interested in high school. I mean, I never went to a dance, I never went out on a date, I never went steady. It became pretty awful for me. Except, of course, I could go see bands, and that was the kick. I used to go to Cleveland just to see any band. So I was in love a lot of the time, but mostly with guys in bands that I had never met. For me, knowing that Brian Jones was out there, and later that Iggy Pop was out there, made it kind of hard for me to get too interested in the guys that were around me. I had, uh, bigger things in mind."

Happy birthday, Chrissie. I will slap the hell out of you if we ever meet. I don't care if I get arrested, either. It would totally be worth it. It would also make for a great story. 

"Yes, I was arrested once... for assaulting Chrissie Hynde."

Wait, that actually doesn't sound fabulous at all. It sounds kind of creepy. But I love slapping. Sigh. I won't give up the dream. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCf5wLyfkvQ

Posted on September 7, 2011 by Lisa Brown and filed under Birthdays.