Friday Fabü

Photo by Wes Naman for Local iQ

The Thermage treatment process is fairly fascinating. Aestheticians Nicole Ortega and Melissa Schultz at the Spa at WDC cleansed my skin and then prepped it with topical anesthetic. Next, they applied a removable, grid-like reference tattoo on my entire face. Easily cleansed off immediately after treatment, the grid assists practitioners to ensure the proper areas are being treated. They powered up the high-tech hardware and went to work.

Each time Schultz and Ortega (they alternated segments) applied the tip of the Thermage wand to a tiny grid position on my skin, it delivered a controlled burst of cooling cryogen spray, followed by a burst of radiofrequency (read: heat), then another cooling blast. The cool-heat-cool process prevents any surface damage. Each triple blast lasts only a few moments, and then it’s on to the next grid spot.

I won’t kid you — it wasn’t all unicorns and rainbows. You know there are times when I wield the “beauty is pain” motto. This is one of those times. It’s manageable, though; like placing a hot tea bag to a tiny section of your skin for a few seconds. It’s not a cakewalk, but neither is an evening in your fave stilettos. Deal with it, dahling. And know this: Some people simply feel a deep heating sensation, but no discomfort. You won’t know until you try.

To read the rest of the story, click here.

Dream a Little Dream

I'd just moved into a posh, all-white, high rise apartment -- quite similar to this one.

My landlord was a guy named Phil (played by actor Jeffrey Tambor).

Phil installed cameras all over the apartment. I had a problem with this, and he told me I could move.

I went up on the roof of the building to think it over, and when I looked over the edge, a major bicycle race was zooming by.

I went back inside, and bumped into a very drunk Lara Flynn Boyle, who, it turned out, lived next door. She said the cameras creeped her out, too.

I told Phil I'd decided to move, then he bribed me with a full-size washer/dryer set and a Blue Heeler puppy. I opted to stay.

I can't help myself. I must once again consult the wizard of wackiness, the online dream dictionary.

White: Purity. Transformation. Cleanliness. Dignity; posh apartment: You will see a large increase in your income or your family life will improve; actor: Pursuit for pleasure; pictures taken against your will: Someone is trying to take advantage of you or compromise your boundaries somehow in your life; bicycles: Need to devote time to leisurely pursuits and recreation; meeting a drunk actress: Don't repeat gossip, and be careful with who you associate yourself with. Their actions may reflect on your own character; washer/dryer: Need to resolve issues of the past in order to be able to make a clean, new start for yourself; puppy: Optimism, unconditional love.

SYNOPSIS:

I'm transforming into a pure, clean, dignifed person. I'm poised to earn substantially more money. This will help fund my recreational pursuits, which I need to devote more time to. I must remain aware, however, as someone is trying to take advantage of me and compromise my boundaries. In order to successfully make this clean, new start for myself, I must resolve past issues, make sure to remain optimistic, not spread gossip, beware of shady people and spread unconditional love.

OK, last time, the dream dictionary provided a cuckoo result. This time: Not too shabby.

If you'd like me to do the Fabü treatment on one of YOUR dreams, send it my way. I'll even post it here, if that's cool with you. We can even give you a loco pseudonym like "Stargazer" or something extra-foolish like that. Bring it on!

Really, McDonalds?!?

Um... this is completely insane.

Watch at your own risk. It made me feel mildly homicidal.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytHUb9U6i7I&feature=player_embedded]

Winter Music Conference is in Full Effect

Last night, I received a report from Miami's annual Winter Music Conference (WMC). Unfortunately, all I could hear during the call was BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-hello?hello?-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-girl, are you there?-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM.

So, from what I gathered, it's going well.

WMC is basically holy week for electronic music fans. With industry workshops during the day and gobs of parties at night (and well into the morning), this conference draws hundreds of thousands of electronic music lovers from around the globe.

According to the WMC site, last year's event attracted 1,909 artists and DJs, 3,763 industry delegates from 70 countries and over 100,000 event attendees for a concentrated schedule of more than 414 events, parties, seminars and workshops presented across 5 days.

I'm sure WMC is fabulous in every single way, but the hangover sounds far too massive for me to dare risk attending the event. Just sayin'.

Blake Lively is Chanel’s New It-Girl

Gossip Girl Blake Lively has accomplished a huge personal goal: She's the new face of Chanel's Mademoiselle handbag line.

“I had other opportunities and I would say, ‘Thank you so much, but I am holding out for Chanel,’” Lively told the New York Times. “That’s who I want to be the face of. And people would say, ‘Well, that’s unrealistic, they only hire Europeans,’ and I said: ‘Well, how great. I’ll be the first then.’”

The actress was personally chosen by Karl Lagerfeld, Chanel's head designer and creative director, who deemed her "an American dream girl." He shot all the campaign photographs himself at Chanel's Paris headquarters.

Lively's Chanel Mademoiselle ads will appear in April in magazines everywhere.

Are You Common?

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esditf7SjLw]

Awesome.

Mary and I went to the park today.

It was so chilly, she had to wear her polar fleece jacket.

The ground was hard and barren.

Then, I noticed a tiny speck of color...

Wow... welcome.

Spring is sooner recognized by plants than by men.  ~Chinese Proverb

Fab Alert!

I recently viewed the 2009 documentary, The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia. Here's the nitty-gritty, from the film's web site:

Shoot-outs, robberies, gas-huffing , drug dealing, pill popping, murders, and tap dancing - what do these all have in common? These are just a few of the parts of being a member of the Wild and Wonderful White Family. The legendary family is as known for their wild, excessive criminal ways as they are for their famous mountain dancing members, including Jesco White, the star of the cult classic documentary, Dancing Outlaw. Exploring both the comic and tragic sides of life on the other side of the law, this stylish, fast-paced family portrait exposes the powerful forces of corruption, poverty, and West Virginia's environmentally and culturally devastating coal mining culture that helped shape the White family, a dying breed of outlaws preserving a dying form of dance.

Interested? Check out the trailer...

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Q6G_WqLp1w]

This flick is a runaway train ride/wreck of pill popping, ass-kicking, tap dancing (yep, seriously) and loads of other cringe-worthy, "not in my reality" situations. It will definitely make you pause and appreciate your life. Five-star fabulous.

Biggie Was Shot 14 Years Ago Today

The Notorious B.I.G was shot and killed 14 years ago today. He'd just left a Los Angeles party, and was riding in the front passenger seat of a vehicle. When the car stopped at a red light, a black Chevy pulled up beside it and the driver shot Biggie four times through the chest.

His second solo album, Life After Death, was released two weeks later and sold over 10 million copies.

His murder remains unsolved.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5acB1eQ5pwY]

My Epic Ash Wednesday Failure

It's Ash Wednesday, and you know what that means... or do you? For some people, it's a complete mystery. Here's an extra-stupid little story about how I learned about Ash Wednesday.

My parents raised me without religion. For this, I'm quite grateful -- thanks, Mom and Dad. It allowed me to figure it all out on my own. However, I didn't start that process until college, when I took several religion classes, eastern and western, to see what it was all about. Thus, prior to college, I was quite clueless about it all.

Flashback to the early 90s... this was pre-college. I found myself backstage at a Ratt concert. Please shut-up immediately. I don't need your mocking, thankyouverymuch. It was 20 years ago, for cryin' out loud.

Anyway, there I was backstage, thinking I was a total bad-ass, and in walks the head Ratt, singer Stephen Pearcy.

He starts working the room, mixing it up, signing autographs, flirting with the ladies and doing the rockstar thing. He walks up to me and I notice he has a smudge on his forehead.

"Wait, hold still," I instructed as I placed my thumb against the offending smudge and began vigorously wiping it off. "You've got some dirt on your forehead."

Yes, I did.

I had no idea that 1.) it was Ash Wednesday, or 2.) what Ash Wednesday even meant.

I received a very quick Ash Wednesday tutorial from the not-remotely-pleased Ratt master Pearcy, then he sauntered off as far away from yours truly as he could possibly get. That was my cue to exit the backstage area, pronto.

And that, my friends, was how I learned about Ash Wednesday.

This gives all new meaning to the lyrics from the Ratt song, You're in Trouble:

And I will only tell you once/You're in trouble/What are you gonna do?/You're in trouble/I got a finger on you/You're in trouble

True story. FML.

Celeb Rehab Scandals!

It's a hotbed of WTF?!? in the Celebrity Rehab camp...

1. Mike Starr, former Alice in Chains bassist, was found dead yesterday at a home in Utah, where he was arrested a few weeks ago for illegal possession of prescription narcotics. Let's hope he's in a better place now; dude had 'tortured soul' written all over him.

2. White House Party Crasher and former DC Real Housewife, Michaele Salahi, was fired from Celeb Rehab's current filming because it turns out... wait for it... she doesn't really have an addiction. Pow! Faaabulous!

3. Celeb Rehab staff called 911 on Bai Ling because, apparently, she was on the Pasadena Recovery Center roof and there was concern for her safety. She reportedly came down sans incident. Two words: publicity stunt.

Borrr-innng.

McQueen Protege to Design Royal Wedding Dress?

Reports are surfacing that Kate Middleton's wedding dress for her über-fab royal marriage to Prince William will be designed by Sarah Burton of the Alexander McQueen house. Burton, 36, who worked with McQueen for 14 years before stepping in as creative director at the legendary fashion house after McQueen's suicide last year, is denying the reports. Royal tradition, however, dictates that bridal gown designers are bound to secrecy.

We'll seeeeee.

Introducing...Vampire Face-Lifts!

The New York Times - In this anti-aging age, perhaps it’s unsurprising that vampires — ancient, but with forever-young skin — are a cultural obsession. Now a cosmetic treatment to fill in wrinkles or to plump up hollow cheeks is being marketed as a “vampire filler” or a “vampire face-lift.” In fact, it’s not surgery, but an in-office procedure that entails having blood drawn from your arm, then spun in a centrifuge to separate out the platelets. They are then injected into your face, with the hope of stimulating new collagen production. Selphyl, as the system is called, arrived on the booming facial-rejuvenation market in 2009, and is now used by roughly 300 doctors nationwide in the name of beauty, said Sanjay Batra, the chief executive of Aesthetic Factors, which manufactures the Selphyl system.

Click here to read the rest of the story.

Mardi Gras Madness!

Happy Mardi Gras 2011! Eat, drink and be merry this Fat Tuesday!

Happy International Women's Day!

International Women's Day is a global day celebrating the economic, political and social achievements of women past, present and future. Today marks its centennial year. Happy 100th, IWD!

Annually on 8 March, thousands of events are held throughout the world to inspire women and celebrate achievements. A global web of rich and diverse local activity connects women from all around the world ranging from political rallies, business conferences, government activities and networking events through to local women's craft markets, theatric performances, fashion parades and more.

Make a difference, think globally and act locally. Make every day International Women's Day. Do your part to ensure that the future for girls is bright, equal, safe and rewarding.

Credo

 

Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness; it is generally the by-product of other activities.

Aldous Huxley

Feed Your Face

Did you know... • A slice of pizza can protect your skin from sunburn? • Green beans can boost your hair’s strength and shine? • Milk and dairy products can contribute to acne? • Almonds can ward off grays?

All true, says Dr. Jessica Wu. Her new book, Feed Your Face, features a 28-day diet plan that will help you banish blemishes, wipe out wrinkles, shed unwanted pounds, and feel better overall.

Best. Clip. EVAH!

Yeah, I hate it when people encourage me to watch clips, too. They're never as funny to you as the other person thinks they are.

This clip is different. This clip is considered absolutely hilarous by everyone on Earth.

Watch it immediately.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cds7lSHawAw]

Happy Birthday, Tammy Faye!

"You don't have to be dowdy to be a Christian" - Tammy Faye Bakker-Messner

Happy birthday to you, Tammy Faye, the fiercest betch in God's Army.

Even. Though. You're. Dead.

xo!

Vintage Shoe Heaven!

Went to incredible Albuquerque vintage clothing boutique, Revolver, over the weekend. The owner/buyer, Das Anastasion, has an incredible eye, and only offers the best-of-the-best items in perfect condition. Naturally, I died over the shoes and boots.