It's International Lefthanders Day, and you know what that means... PAR-TAY! Southpawtinis for everyone, honey! Today, lefties around the world gather 'round the Wrong Hand Tree and exchange gifts of scissors, computer mice and golf clubs. Later, they share left-handed compliments while feasting on leftovers.
The Latin meaning for left is sinistra, AKA sinister; thus, never trust a southpaw. Any invitations to their celebrations today should be politely declined. Should you accept, don't come cryin' to me if things go horribly wrong.