Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: An unknowingly-pregnant blonde decides to get a colonic…
Sounds like the beginning of yet another Fabü adventure, yes? Away we go!
Just a few days before my colon hydrotherapy session at Kukana Colonics (8920 Matthew NE, 505.298.1983, albuquerquecolonics.com), I discovered I was pregnant. I called the doctor to see if I could still get the colonic. Veto! Now what? I was really looking forward to writing about the treatment in this very column. How could I tell Kukana that, no, I wouldn’t be featuring her, after all?
Enter my knight on a white horse: my husband, DJ Brown. “Fine, fine… I’ll do it,” he said after several eyelash bats from yours truly. The things we do for love.
Soon, we were face-to-face with Kukana herself: A vibrant, sprite-like woman reminiscent of a 62-year-old Björk. She seriously looks amazing, and credits it all to colon cleansing.
“Your immune system improves. Your allergies go away. Everything works better,” she proudly stated. “You feel like you’re in your twenties again.”
A colon hydrotherapist for 25 years, Kukana knows colons like nobody’s business. First, she took DJ’s detailed stool history (“How long? What size?”). Never did I expect to learn so much about my husband’s stools. He unabashedly answered every question as I furiously scribbled in my notepad. I owe this man, big-time.