Why? Because the mayor is a jackass. Soon, the cast of Jersey Shore will be in Florence, Italy, to film next season's show. Unfortunately, Mayor Matteo Renzi established some ridiculously-stringent rules that almost guarantee a sucky season.
"I will not allow them to use the Palazzo Vecchio or other historic buildings," Renzi said in an Italian newspaper, Corriere della Sera, interview yesterday, "but I cannot ban them from using our city as a set."
Among his other rules:
No shooting in bars, clubs or any place that promotes the reckless consumption of alcohol.
The cast is prohibited from drinking in public on camera.
Florence may not be portrayed as a drinking town.
The cast must interact with authentic Italian people in authentic cultural settings -- thus avoiding the city's hordes of tourists and students.
WTF, mayor!?! We have zero interest in watching Snooki and Co. stroll lucidly along the viali, visit galleries and trattorias (sans vino, of course) and do whatever other boring-ass stuff that falls within your permissible guidelines.
Yawnsville! Take the show somewhere else, MTV. Wait, I have an idea: why don't you film it on the Jersey friggin' shore?
If it ain't broke, don't fix it... bitches.
I am feeling pretty tough. Channeling Sammi Sweetheart.