Kudos to Lacoste for the retro look of their new fragrance bottles. No need to try and re-brand or update your look, Lacoste, because it's that classic croc that makes you so fab. Five stars for totally getting it right.
"Gaahl Hates Your Sweatpants"
I'm just gonna throw it right out there: Gaahl is gay. My day is officially made. I guess this isn't the newest news, but it sho' is news to me, hunty!
Perhaps you're familiar with Gorgoroth, one of the creepiest Norwegian death metal bands of all time. Gaahl is their former vocalist. He's the handsome gent in the middle up there. And he's gay. I'm so happy!!!!!!!!! Rob Halford, eat your heart out! There's a new metal queen in town, and her name's Gaahl, betch!
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puwllq0fBLs&feature=related]
In this über-fab Vice interview, "Gaahl Hates Your Sweatpants," Gaahl talks fashion and boyfriends. Whoa. Never in a million years did I think I'd EVER use the phrase, "Gaahl talks fashion and boyfriends." I need to get up and do a few cartwheels. Wheeee! Happies!
Viceland.com - You remember Gaahl. He’s that skinny, long-haired Norseman we’ve featured on and off for a while now, particularly in the VBS.tv documentary True Norwegian Black Metal. He was the singer of Gorgoroth, once the scariest band in at least all of Scandinavia.
He went to prison a couple of times for violence and cases of ritualistic torture and was condemned by no less than the pope in Rome. (These things should be ringing some bells.) He’s the one who, amid impaled sheep heads and crucified models, would bellow, scream, and gargle to massive crowds as hundreds of gallons of sheep’s blood spilled all over the place. And then, in Bergen, Norway, he was crowned Gay Person of the Year in 2010. Riiiiight, that guy.
Today Gaahl is reserved, bordering on refined. A while back he was found admiring a runway show for a fashion line he co-owns, sitting front row, sipping expensive Italian red wine, and staring affectionately as his then 19-year-old boyfriend, Robin Jakobsen, skipped down the catwalk in colorful androgynous creations with funky Ibiza house music blasting from all sides. This side of Gaahl sounded interesting to us, but when we asked to reinterview him about clothes for this issue, we weren’t at all sure how interesting it might be to him. We were worried we might annoy him. But what we discovered was the earthly personification of Balder, the golden Norse god of happiness and perfection. Over three bottles of very fine wine we had the following conversation.
Vice: You seem very much at ease, happy even. In what ways do you channel the more intense side of your personality now that Gorgoroth is done? Gaahl: I’ve got my method. Ninety percent of my artistic expression is not perceptible to the world. Read the rest at Vice Magazine: GAAHL HATES YOUR SWEATPANTS - The Former Gorgoroth Front Man Yaps Fashion and Boyfriends - Vice Magazine
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWuDgCgB_Hg&feature=related]
A.M. Guffaw
It is good to start the day with laughter. Whilst opening morning email, I received a clip from that Vanderbilt brother of mine. It's the parrot singing Drowning Pool's Let the Bodies Hit the Floor. If you've seen it, fab. If you haven't, you might need to.
First, if you haven't heard the song, check this out briefly to get yourself acquainted with it. You really only need the first 22 seconds to cover what's needed to understand the parrot clip.
* Update: Due to EMI's jackassishness, please click here to watch Parrot clip via YouTube, or just click the "Watch on YouTube" link provided in the clip below.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HORkT4a2MhQ]
OK, got it? Good. Now watch this.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uguXNL93fWg&feature=player_embedded]
I died. Still laughing. Soul vitamins. Thanks, bro.
Guys: Spring Stripes = Hotness
Gentlemen, meet your new spring sweatshirt, Levi's Jefe Fleece.
This crewneck jersey classic is pre-washed, softened and faded. They even added elbow patches and ribbing at the neck, cuffs and band for contrast.
This goes far beyond standard fleece. Wear with everything.
Best part of all: it's now on sale -- $49.90. Get it here.
Mugshot Hall of Fame
The Smoking Gun - Meet Nikki Oakley.
After attending a Lady Gaga concert Monday evening in Tulsa, Oklahoma, the 22-year was spotted by cops allegedly “yelling and swinging at people” in the parking lot of the BOK Center.
A Tulsa Police Department report charges that Oakley was intoxicated and copped to consuming “several shots of mixed drinks at the concert.”
“It was Lady Gaga, it was intense,” Oakley told TSG. Her cheap face paint, she added, was purchased at Hot Topic.
Click here to read the full, original story.
Fab Alert!
Ohhhmyyygawwwd, it's Lazy Cakes Relaxation Brownies!
What are Lazy Cakes, exactly? According to the Lazy Cakes site:
Relaxing. It's what we're all about. We think the secret to a long life is being laid back and Lazy Cakes is the way to do it. Easing you down with natural ingredients like Valerian Root and Rose Hips while utilizing Melatonin, a substance your body makes naturally to help you relax. All this magic is baked in a delicious chocolate brownie to put a smile on your face.
These brownies aren't for kids or pregnant women. You also shouldn't drive heavy machinery after eating them.
This is, literally, fall-on-the-floor fabulous. Order Lazy Cakes here.
Holiday Birthday
She'd be 96.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4ZyuULy9zs]
You Can Afford Lagerfeld's Latest Collection
Unkle Karl's gettin' busy with the fizzy.
Chanel's creative director loves him some Diet Coke. He reportedly lost 90 pounds in 2001 on a strict diet of steamed veggies and Diet Coke. He's even rumored to employ a Diet Coke butler, who serves Lagerfeld his precious beverage in Lalique crystal goblets.
That is definitely slap-worthy. If I ever meet this man, I will slap him right in the face for being so g.d. fabulous. Hope I can blog from the slammer.
Moving on... Lagerfeld designed these limited-edition Diet Coke bottles, featuring deluxe patterns and his signature ponytailed silhouette. They hit stores in June 2011, and will be sold individually, as well as in collector's boxes.
FYI...
I'm now completely obsessed with Mexican pointy boots.
This is, without question, my 2011 Halloween ensemble of choice.
Pointy boots por vida, dahling! ¡Arriba!
Sheen Kills it in Cleveland!
Our pal Charlie slayed the crowd in Cleveland last night.
The sold-out crowd reportedly went wild when Sheen first walked on stage, greeting him with chants of, "F**K DETROIT."
The 90-minute Cleveland performance--the tour's third stop--resulted in a standing ovation. Sounds like this tour might turn out to be a winner, after all. Sad that Detroit had to suffer that losing test run.
"Without Detroit we don't have the show that we have right now," the warlock said during the Cleveland show. "Because of Detroit, we've now got gold."
Who Wants to be a ShamWhore? Anyone? Bueller?
Vince Shlomi, a.k.a. the ShamWow guy, is being sued by his former assistant, Jennifer Kosinski, who claims he wanted her to be his love slave. She alleges that he also tried to buy her eggs for 20K, and that he tried to pay her to sleep beside him in bed.
Kosinski is suing ShamWeirdo for intentional infliction of emotional distress and civil battery.
If you recall, ShamWTF?!? was arrested in 2009 for battering a prostitute -- read the details here. Yikes.
Let's see if you can Slap Chop your way outta this one, Shlomi.
Take a deep breath before you continue reading...
Lando Calrissian is 74 years old today.
Relax. Keep breathing.
Yep... we're all gettin' older.
Fab Alert!
Candy for seksi times: Bijoux Indiscrets' BI, a lolly for two that results in a kiss. Strawberry and champagne flavored, of course.
Happy Birthday, Merle!
"If I hear another line dance song, I think I'm gonna puke."
- Merle Haggard
That stellar quote appears on one of my favorite tees, by Modern Cowgirl.
Credo
"Don't wait to be sure. Move, move, move."
- Miranda July, No One Belongs Here More Than You
Trip Notes: Nashville Finale, Part II
As promised, the basement footage. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6n6nAnYF9FA]
That creepy basement made me want to put the lotion on my skin so I didn't get the hose again. Thanks to the guys for making it as pleasant as possible.
The most unnerving part was the eerie sound of the tornado sirens. Here's some good siren/storm footage from just up the street.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18j8jMQnXe8]
After that, we hauled ass to the airport. Barely made my flight, which surprisingly departed nearly on time. You're a bad-ass town, Nashville. Thanks for having me.
The biggest thanks of all go to this guy:
That's the epitome of bad-ass, right there.
Love you, bro. Thanks for cordially enduring yet another year of April 1 shenanigans.
Until next year...
Yes! Mexican Raver Cowboys Dance in Elf Boots on Steroids!
This is so damn fabulous that it strongly makes me want to travel to Matehuala and slap every single über-pointy-toed-boot-wearing raver cowboy I can find. I will ask those bitches for their autographs AND photographs. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEiMA3QtYWc&feature=player_embedded#at=252]
Five stars. No question about it.
She's Got Birthday Beeeotch Eyes
Trip Notes: Nashville Finale
Almost didn't make it out of Nashville, kids.
Big storm. Tornadoes (yes, plural). We had to take cover in the frat basement, a.k.a. the creepiest basement EVER.
Needless to say, I got home later than expected.
Lemme get caught up on some work, and then I'll catch you up on everything. Got some good creepy basement video footage for ya'. Will upload asap.
Until then, be fabulous.
Birthday Bummer
Heath Ledger would be 32 today.
Contrary to Randy and Evi Quaid's belief, Ledger died of a drug overdose, not murder-by-star-whackers.