Sheen Turns it Around in Chicago

How many lives does this man have? I think I'm actually beginning to mildly believe the warlock thing. The ma-Sheen killed it in Chicago last night to a sold-out crowd of 3,600.

"Instead of the disjointed exercise in hero worship he had presented on night one of his theatrical tour in Detroit Saturday, Sheen mostly sat and fielded an interviewer's questions, bantering with the crowd, dropping the F-word, and actually seeming to satisfy, if not amaze, concert-goers," said a review in The Chicago Tribune.

1500 Take Part in "SlutWalk"

Toronto Sun -  A Toronto cop who warned women that dressing like sluts can attract sexual assault was reprimanded and underwent “further training,” Chief Bill Blair said Sunday.

Blair called Const. Michael Sanguinetti “inexperienced,” adding the officer uttered “something stupid and he’s apologized.”

The constable’s comment sparked outrage, prompting more than 1,500 protesters to stage a “SlutWalk” Sunday from Queen’s Park to police headquarters on College St.

Click here to read the rest of the story.

What Happens When Men Dress Women...

Not too shabby, guys!

The Daily Mail asked men of different ages to dress their significant others. Click here to see how the men did, and what the women thought of their new looks.

Teaser: One woman's response, "I want to cry... I wouldn’t be caught dead dressed like this."

Buy a Cookie, Save a Pet!

Talk about a yummy way to give back to your community! For the entire month of April, all Flying Star Cafe and Satellite locations will sell handmade logo cookies to benefit Animal Humane New Mexico. Each time one of the esteemed treats is purchased, $1.00 goes toward helping homeless pets in Animal Humane's care.

Participating is easy. Simply visit any of the Flying Star Cafe or Satellite Coffee locations during the month of April and ask for the logo cookies. (Flying Star Santa Fe and Satellite University of New Mexico locations excluded). Animal Humane will also be selling cookies in all three of their locations.

Trip Notes: Nashville - Day Three

The frat guys partied like, well, frat guys, Saturday night. I stayed in; felt like a million bucks Sunday. Them: not so much. Here's what I saw upon first walking into the house...

Ugh. Just looking at it makes me a bit nauseous. We were all supposed to go to brunch, but none were willing to budge from their beds (this was around 1 p.m., mind you) except Zach, of course, who kind of had no choice. Thanks for rallying, bro.

Lovely day. Exceeded the 80 degree mark. Post-brunch, we cruised around in Zach's convertible and soaked up the sun.

Then we went back to the house, which was still verrrry quiet. Poor guys were ruined. So, Zach and I hung out on the very cool antebellum porch and shot the breeze for hours. Good stuff. Sibling power!

Fab Alert!

Now this is what I call an Easter accessory.

As Zach and I wandered a downtown Nashville back alley, we stumbled across ACC Secret, a little shop filled with eclectic, handmade accessories. They make them all on-site, right in the middle of the boutique.

Clearly, the Easter hair bands were my fave.

Thanks to the lovely and accommodating ACC Secret manager, Sanghoi Bishop. We love your stuff!

Meet the Funeral Divas

At long last, a social group for funeral industry women.

According to the group's site:

A Funeral Diva is a strong, confident and successful woman who works in the funeral industry. She is not ashamed of her career! She is proud to serve hurting families! She is an Embalmer, Funeral Director or Employee at a funeral home! She is a grief counselor, a casket sales woman or Mortuary Science Student! She is a woman who supports all women in Funeral Service! She simply loves her career!

You GO, funeral divas. We love your career too, ladies. Life without you would be rotten (cue punch-line drum roll).

Birthday Mash-Up

Tony Orlando = 67

Wayne Newton = 69

And, last but definitely not least...

Doris Day = 89

LOSING! Sheen's Detroit Show a Total Disaster!

File this under "Not Remotely Surprised."

Steady reports are coming in that Charlie Sheen's Detroit show tonight---the first stop on his much-hyped, My Violent Torpedo of Truth tour---was a huge mess. Boos, walk-outs, refund demands... the whole nine yards.

Apparently, it wasn't much more than Sheen spewing nonsensical rants from behind a podium. After an audience member booed, Sheen reportedly sneered, "I've already got your money, dude."  Later, the booing got so bad that the warlock finally left the stage and the house lights were turned on. Show over.

Public comments on Sheen's Twitter page:

"Did you suck on purpose?"

"He didn't rehearse this material and it showed."

"He is a coward and couldn't face the crowd he stole from. He's a joke."

"Unprepared, poor material, no talent for the live stage, the crowd was chanting as* ho*e."

"Charlie Sheen I want my time back! What a let down you failed Detroit LOSER!"

Yikes. Better luck next stop, Charlie. Hope Chicago doesn't eat you alive, bro.

Randy Quaid's new Star Whackers song!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUO1VEK_ydE]  

Just when it seemed those batshit-crazy Quaids, Randy and wife Evi, were finally out of the picture, this happens.

If you recall, the Quaids are conviced that "Hollywood star whackers" are trying to kill them. They also claim that David Carradine (who was found hanged in a Bangkok hotel room) and Heath Ledger (who died of a drug overdose) were victims of the same murderous conspiracy.

Now, Randy has graced us with a song about said whackers. Sigh. Enjoy.

Trip Notes: Nashville - Day Two

Spent some downtown time today. Walkin'... talkin'... and waaay too much eatin'. First, we had a big breakfast. Shortly thereafter, we walked by a tiny place called The Grilled Cheese & Crab Cake Company. The name sounded too fab to not investigate. Next thing we knew, we were devouring hefty sandwiches made of grilled cheese and fried bologna. SINFUL. We simply had to. It was out of our control.

We walked around a bit, then wedged our overstuffed asses into the car and headed back to fratville, where Zach's bros were basking in the sun (a.k.a. drinking al fresco). They had moved some beer pong tables out onto the lawn, and were engaged in battle. Some played wiffle ball instead. Hip-hop blasted from a stereo. Ah, Greek life.

That's Billy on the right. He graduates in three weeks. Pre-med. Coming soon to an operating room possibly near you, folks. He'll likely pursue some sort of surgical specialty. Look out!

What did we do next? Eat. A lot. Again. These guys are MACHINES, man. I gotta get outta here.

Oh, speaking of that, there's a major storm expected Monday. Words like "tornado," "severe threat," and "significant damage" are being used in weather reports. I'm scheduled to fly home that afternoon. Wheeee!

Don't You Know Who My Water Is?!?

Why have regular water when you can have famous water?

The UNICEF Tap Project launched a new campaign to foster awareness of the global water crisis.

From the project site:

"The UNICEF Tap Project wants everyone to recognize the lifesaving importance of water. In 2011, celebrities have donated their own tap water to help raise awareness of the world water crisis. Donations enter individuals in our sweepstakes to win an esteemed collection of these famous tap waters"

Celebrity participants include, Selena Gomez, Robin Williams, Rihanna, Adrian Grenier, Taylor Swift, and Dwight Howard.

Click here to learn more.

Happy Birthday, Marvin

Marvin Gaye would be 72 today.

“If you cannot find peace within yourself, you will never find it anywhere else.”

- Marvin Gaye

Fab Alert!

Nike and luxury accessories brand, Liberty of London, teamed up and produced the Nike Liberty 2011 Collection.

Two of the 12 styles became available yesterday at exclusively at Liberty of London. The world-wide release for the rest of the collection happens May 1.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvxRcWPfpxc]

Friday Fabü

Let’s talk about eyes. More specifically, let’s talk about lashes and brows. How do yours look? If they’re the epitome of color, richness and definition, consider yourself slapped. You may turn the page now, because there’s nothing here for you, Prince(ss)Perfecto. Now, scram! You’re making the rest of us look bad.

Okay, now it’s just us, the lackluster lash/brow crowd. If you’re like me, you spend a fair portion of your grooming regimen applying cosmetics to make these faint features more apparent. Sound familiar? If so, then it’s time to dye, dahling.

Countless others have grown so tired of waking up to a ghostly image staring at them in the mirror that they now book regular appointments to keep their otherwise transparent brows and lashes tinted. I recently decided to join their ranks.

Click here to read the rest of this column.

Headline of the Day

From UK paper, The Sun:

Tits Bouncing Back in Warmer Weather

Tits are bouncing back in British gardens, a survey reveals.

Sightings of the much-loved birds leapt, with blue tits up 22 per cent and great tits rising 12 per cent.

Coal tits have increased by 24 per cent, while the number of long-tailed tits soared 32 per cent the past year.

Their comeback follows fears for their future after the long cold snap from October to March in 2009-2010.

Read the rest of the article here.

Trip Notes: Nashville - Day One

I tagged Zach's car this afternoon. Poor kid can't catch a break.

We grabbed some ultra-delish lunch at Nashville's best funky chicken haunt, McDougal's. Eclectic decor deluxe, including this boar-ing ensemble.

Next stop, Vanderbilt campus. Gorgeous. My pics turned out lame. Will take more when we return there Monday.

Here's the frat-tastic pad that Zach and his boys call home.

They seriously need to cancel their Wall Street Journal subscription.

Quality artwork here at Chez Frat. Kinda dig the way my camera flash gave the donkey a bionic eye effect. Winner!

Now, I'm prepping for another debaucherous night with the April Fool King and his bros.

Give me strength.

Happy birthday to The Man of a Thousand Faces!

Silent film star and creep-master, Lon Chaney Sr., would be 128 today. Hell, he looks like he's 128 in this pic. Spooky times.

Best. April. Fools. Day. EVER.

Greetings from Nashville! Why am I here? April Fools Day.

You see, I've played an April Fools Day joke on my brother, Zach, every year for 17 years. He's a senior at Vanderbilt University. I flew out here to surprise--and prank--him. His roommate, Craig, was in on the joke. He picked me up from the airport and took me to their house. I hid outside in the bushes w/ air-horn in hand. Craig went inside and told Zach he thought he saw someone messing with his car. Zach came running outside. I blasted the airhorn.

merp.

That's what it sounded like. A pathetic, tiny... merp. Not unlike a wounded small animal. Like the noise Mary Poppins made when I accidentally rolled over on her in bed. Damn discount store air-horn. Evil bargain swag.

Instead of being scared shitless, Zach was confused. He paused, cocked his head and squinted. I jumped out of the bushes. Ohhhhmygawwwd, the look on his face was PRICELESS. He seriously couldn't register what was happening. It was shock and confusion and just total spaced-out craziness. Mission accomplished.

Then we partied.

He's a bit of a jackass, my brother. I'm quite crazy about him.

This promises to be a fab weekend. Naturally, trip notes will be provided.

Happy April Fools Day. Do something stupid to your favorite jackass today.

Attn: Ridiculously-Wealthy Time Control Freaks

Behold! That watch that promises to extend your happy moments. Swiss watch company, Hublot (a subsidiary of France's LVMH label), presents the Key of Time watch.

According to Hublot's site:

What if a watch, by means of its mechanics, gave you the ability to manage the passing of time as you wished? To really manage your own time? The mechanism driving the MP-02 Key of Time, thanks to a three-position crown, enables you to “modulate” the speed at which the hours and minutes pass, according to your wishes.

Hence with Key of Time, the wearer can make happy moments last four times longer or make difficult moments four times shorter, while retaining the option to “return” to real time at any moment.

This is a very limited edition watch, kids. Only 50 available. Price: $261,000.

Um... what?