Viagra-laced beer!

Behold! Royal Virility Performance by BrewDog, a limited-edition beer containing Viagra. Apparently, downing three bottles is equivalent to taking one of the blue seksi-times pills.

According to the label, the brew contains Viagra, chocolate, Horny Goat Weed and ‘a healthy dose of sarcasm’. The beer is a 7.5% ABV India Pale Ale and was brewed at BrewDog's brewery in Fraserburgh, UK. 

The beer was created to mark the upcoming royal wedding. Ugh. NO ESCAPE! 

Only 1,000 bottles are available for sale via BrewDog.com. Buy yours here. All proceeds will go to the Centrepoint charity, which Prince William supports. The BrewDog guys are considering creating more of this uplifting beer in the future. 

Posted on April 19, 2011 by Lisa VanDyke Brown and filed under Products.

Enough is Enough!

 OK, I've officially had my fill of royal wedding fever, thankyouverymuch. This frightening pizza was commissioned by Papa John's Pizza. Kate Middleton's dress is made of cheese. Note the delicate pepperoni flower perched ever-so-gently atop her mushroom veil. Prince William's morning suit is made of peppers and salami. 

"Royal Wedding fever is sweeping the world so we couldn't resist having some fun and creating our very own pizza portrait of Kate and William to celebrate their forthcoming marriage," said Andrew Varga, Papa John's chief marketing officer, in a press release.

Sorry, you can't order this majestic pie. It's one-of-a-kind. Laaaame. 

Nothing says royal wedding like a mozzarella smile, dahling.

OVER IT. 

Posted on April 18, 2011 by Lisa VanDyke Brown and filed under WTF?!?.

Sweet Transbirthday

Tim Curry, villain extraordinaire, there are no words to describe how fabulous you are. Happy 65th birthday, good sir. If we ever meet, you're seriously getting slapped for being such a g.d. genius.

Posted on April 19, 2011 by Lisa VanDyke Brown and filed under Birthdays.

Sorry for All the Mess

Ugh. A man stabbed himself to death while performing at an open mic night in Bend, Oregon Sunday. After performing his song, "Sorry for All the Mess," Kipp Rusty Walker, 19, pulled out a 6-inch knife and began stabbing himself repeatedly in the chest.

The audience at Strictly Organic Coffee Company thought it was part of the show and cheered Walker on. It wasn't until he collapsed in a pool of his own blood that they realized it was the real deal. Shortly thereafter, he died from his injuries at a local hospital. 

Apparently, Walker was hospitalized for suicidal behavior the month prior to the onstage suicide. 

Posted on April 18, 2011 by Lisa VanDyke Brown and filed under News.

Sir, this ain't no roller derby...

ClickOrlando.com - PALM BAY, Fla. -- A man was arrested Saturday night on suspicion of grabbing girls after knocking them down at a roller skating party in Palm Bay. Click here to read the rest of the story. 

Fabulisa note: This story has one of my favorite news quotes of 2011 thus far...

 "(They) put handcuffs on him, and the whole entire crowd, everybody at the Skate Jam, was clapping and applauding the police," Clausen said.

Absolutely PRICELESS. Five stars. Cheers to everybody at the Skate Jam!

Posted on April 17, 2011 by Lisa VanDyke Brown and filed under News, WTF?!?.

WTF?!?

OK, so Nicolas Cage was arrested Saturday in New Orleans for domestic abuse battery, disturbing the peace and public drunkenness. Apparently, he was so sloshed that he couldn't remember where he lived, and his wife, Alice Kim, tried to set him straight. Needless to say, mayhem ensued. 

Here's the kicker... guess who bailed him out? 

Heeeeeheehee! That's right, kiddies: none other than Duane "Dog" Chapman himself. Serious. Read the story here. 

God, I love this country. 

Posted on April 17, 2011 by Lisa VanDyke Brown and filed under Celebrities, WTF?!?.

Finger-lickin' Ka-ray-zay!

3news.co.nz - A New Zealand man amputated, cooked and ate his own finger with vegetables in an apparent attempt to get doctors to take him more seriously, a report in Australian Psychiatry says.

The case, documented in a report by Christchurch authors Eric Monasterio and Craig Prince and published online, is one of only eight documented cases in the world of self-cannibalism, the Australian Doctor reports.

Click here to read the rest of the story. 

Posted on April 15, 2011 by Lisa VanDyke Brown and filed under News, WTF?!?.

Friday Fabü

High heels rank among the finest objects on Earth, period. As soon as I rocked (literally, before falling over … a few times … well, a few dozen, but who’s counting?) my first pair of kitten heels, I was hooked. Now, my shoe wardrobe overfloweth with stilettos, slingbacks, d’Orsays, wedges, platforms and the like. High-heeled shoes are like rabbits. As soon as I turn my back, they multiply. I have nothing to do with it, I swear. It just happens. Sneaky shoes.

Fashionably speaking, high heels have transformative powers. Slip your feet into a pair and your calves tighten, the derrière lifts and your back arches, tossing your chest outward. Total body makeover. Rowwwwr! Ladies, start your engines.

Clearly, wearing high heels can provide an image boost that hordes of women find desirable. For many, those perfect heels seem to shoot bolts of confidence from the feet to the mind. Alas, after a few hours, they morph into bolts of searing pain — the inevitable downside. Curses!

And what can a girl do about this? Cease wearing the glorious, pointy kicks that she cherishes more than almost anything? Nay, my fabulous footwear fashionistas. I have found foot and (to my gleeful surprise) total body salvation through reflexology.

Click here to read the rest of my reflexology experience. 

Posted on April 15, 2011 by Lisa VanDyke Brown and filed under Fabü.

It's the Doritos Taco Shell!

Ta-da! Introducing Taco Bell's Doritos Locos Tacos, featuring shells made entirely of Nacho Cheese Doritos. Late-night drunk food at its finest!!!

Sadly, these cheesy sensation is still in the beta phase, and is only available at a handful of Taco Bell locations. We can only hope and pray it will grace a Taco Bell near us ASAFP, my dear fabulistas. 

Posted on April 15, 2011 by Lisa VanDyke Brown and filed under News.